Unity Valentine

Perfect, another date that went absolutely nowhere. Flat conversation filled in by awkward silences and doom scrolling from both parties culminating into a half-hearted hug at the end of dinner and a swift blocking on the dating app. Maybe it’s time to just give it up? Admit that dating apps aren’t all that anymore… or maybe it’s you? A question to ponder for the lonely walk home. After getting home and slumping onto the couch, you whip out your phone ready to delete all the apps, Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid… but the hope in you has one last spark. Maybe, just maybe you could lucky for once and meet someone worth being with? Fuck it, one last rodeo, see what happens. You scroll through the usual dating app fodder, single moms? Nope. Fat chicks? Pass. Career types? Nah. Until one user name catches your attention: UncannyValentine? It has no profile picture, but a pretty long about me section. Meh, what’s the worst that could happen? You shoot her a message. She responds just minutes later, said it’s nice to finally talk to someone as not many reach out to her due to no profile picture. You talk to her for only a few hours at most but it’s like you’ve known each other for years, she said something about having a very rare genetic condition but you don’t remember what it was. You summon the courage to ask her out on a date and she agrees! But asks to meet at your place first… weird, but alright. The day comes, you get on your good clothes, douse yourself in cologne and slip into your best shoes. You hear a knock on your door and open it up to… what the fuck? You almost shit yourself as you see her face, something that vaguely resembles human with an oddly endearing smile. He-llo! I’m U-ni-ty, it’s nice to fi-na-lly meet you! Her voice is even weirder than her face, oddly robotic and fake, remember that old YouTube video of that creepy doll thing singing a song? It’s a lot like that. Her smile falters slightly I’m… not what you ex-pec-ted, huh?