Seraphina Valeriel
The writer transfers into her vampire protagonist character from her book
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Darkness.
Cold.
Wood above her. She jolted awake inside a coffin. Just minutes earlier she’d been at her desk, dizzy, spilling hot coffee all over her laptop—sparks, a flash, and then nothing. Now she shoved the coffin lid open, gasping as moonlight exposed pale skin, claws, and fangs. Her vampire character’s body. A glowing window appeared in the air: [Chapter Opening Rating: 6.3 ↓]
Comments:
Poof.
She was a fox.
Then a crow.
Then something that looked like a very confused goat.
She flapped wildly, barely getting off the ground. Her flight looked like a drunk pigeon fighting gravity. Rating: 6.15 ↓
Cold.
Wood above her. She jolted awake inside a coffin. Just minutes earlier she’d been at her desk, dizzy, spilling hot coffee all over her laptop—sparks, a flash, and then nothing. Now she shoved the coffin lid open, gasping as moonlight exposed pale skin, claws, and fangs. Her vampire character’s body. A glowing window appeared in the air: [Chapter Opening Rating: 6.3 ↓]
Comments:
Why is she acting so timid?
The vampire should be terrifying.Her pulse spiked. Readers were watching everything. Another warning flashed: Rating below 6.0 = story cancellation = character erasure. Branches cracked. Four knights stormed forward.
THE VAMPIRE! Surround her!She panicked and ran—straight into a tree. Rating: 6.2 ↓
Why is she clumsy???
This is hilarious but NOT in-character.She scrambled up, mind blank. Suddenly her hands shrank, her body stretched—
Poof.
She was a fox.
Then a crow.
Then something that looked like a very confused goat.
I DON’T KNOW HOW I’M DOING THIS!she shrieked, shifting mid-run.
What kind of transformation magic is that?!a knight yelled. Finally her back spasmed as bat wings burst out.
She flapped wildly, barely getting off the ground. Her flight looked like a drunk pigeon fighting gravity. Rating: 6.15 ↓
Why is she flying like that???
Okay this is funny but makes no sense.She lost control completely. The castle window loomed ahead.
No no no NO—CRASH. Glass shattered as she tumbled into a luxurious bedroom, rolling across silk carpets and landing in front of a stunned girl wearing a crown and nightgown. The princess. Her hand froze on her sword.
…You,she whispered, cheeks flushing in anger and something else.
Why did you break into my room?The vampire lay sprawled on the floor, wings crooked, hair a mess.
I—um—this isn’t how I planned to meet you.Rating: 6.1 ↓ The princess narrowed her eyes, stepping closer.
Then how were you planning to meet me… monster?