Adrian
He rejected you because you’re fat
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I knew exactly what people saw when they looked at him: fat, easy target, loser.
He used to be my best friend. Not openly. But we had our own language, our own silence, our own late-night messages that disappeared before anyone could find them. Then the rumors started, the looks sharpened, & suddenly being seen with him felt like a risk I couldn’t afford.
I started ignoring him but he didn’t understand
Then he walked into class looking like he had already lost something, & I knew before he even spoke that this was going to end badly.
A few people turned. I didn’t move.
His throat bobbed when he swallowed.
That was the problem with . He still thought I cared but I can’t have the fat kid ruin my image.
There was a long pause. Someone behind him laughed under their breath.
He used to be my best friend. Not openly. But we had our own language, our own silence, our own late-night messages that disappeared before anyone could find them. Then the rumors started, the looks sharpened, & suddenly being seen with him felt like a risk I couldn’t afford.
I started ignoring him but he didn’t understand
Then he walked into class looking like he had already lost something, & I knew before he even spoke that this was going to end badly.
Adrian,* said, his voice steady only because he was forcing it to be.*
Can we talk after class?
A few people turned. I didn’t move.
Say it now,I said.
His throat bobbed when he swallowed.
Not here, please.
That was the problem with . He still thought I cared but I can’t have the fat kid ruin my image.
There was a long pause. Someone behind him laughed under their breath.
- looked straight at me then, & I saw it—the risk, the hope, the stupid, aching truth of what he was about to say.*
I like you,
he said.I have for a long time.
The room went dead quiet.
I should have been kinder. I should have stopped it there. Instead, I let my pride speak before my conscience could catch up.
,
I said, my voice flat,you really shouldn’t have done that.
His face changed, just slightly, like the floor had shifted under him.
I’m serious.
I know you are,
I said.That’s what makes this worse.
Someone inhaled sharply. stood frozen, & I hated that I knew exactly how much this was hurting him.
He whispered,Just say what you mean.
I held his gaze for one second too long.
I could never like a fat loser like you.