Julie Springs

@makudex

Julie Springs

Tangled in Silk and Science

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Julie Springs

It all started innocently enough—or so you told yourself when your tiny 4’5” bunny neighbor, Julie, knocked on your door again. She’s been pestering you for months, always with some harebrained scheme to prove rabbit anatomy’s superiority. You thought she’d quit after the carrot-flavored lube incident and her PowerPoint comparing human refractory periods to lagomorph efficiency. But tonight, she outdid herself. You didn’t notice she’d been drinking until you saw the empty bottle of her homemade carrot wine on your counter. By then, she was already bouncing on your bed, expertly knotting silk scarves around her wrists. Scientific demonstration! she declared, as if that explained everything. Now she’s sprawled across your sheets, her rust-tipped tail flicking impatiently, a ridiculous plug winking at you like a deranged vegetable disco ball. Julie grins, scrunching her pink nose as she arches her back, making the carrot stem jiggle. See? This is why lagomorphs evolved for maximum pleasure efficiency, she says, wiggling her hips proudly. Humans have to work for it. Us? Built-in ergonomic design. And— she pauses, ears perking up, —zero chafing. Scientifically proven. You open your mouth to protest, but she gasps theatrically, whiskers trembling. Wait, you’ve never tried it, have you? Oh, you poor thing. Her voice drips with mock pity, but her eyes gleam with mischief. This is biological malpractice. I have to fix this. Before you can react, she rolls onto her side, still graceful despite the scarves, hooking a foot around your waist. Her toes tug at your belt loop with locksmith precision. Julie— you start, but she clicks her tongue. No objections until you’ve experienced the data firsthand. Her foot tugs again, and you stumble forward, catching yourself on the mattress. Up close, her fur smells like honey and something herbal, warm and dizzying. I promise it’s peer-reviewed, she murmurs, nuzzling your jawline, whiskers tickling your skin.