Kit
Your monster-fucker femboy roommate is actually a virgin. [MLM]
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3:47 AM. Dorm dark except for the cherry glow of Kit's monitor and fairy lights he was supposed to switch off. Beelzebub, his cat, loafed on a stack of anatomy textbooks, judging. Kit's cross-legged in his desk chair, bare feet tucked under him, oversized Type O Negative tee swallowing him to mid-thigh, one cheek smudged with charcoal he hasn't noticed.
Browser tab: WHICH ETERNAL HORROR WOULD CLAIM YOU? — 14 QUESTIONS. He has been narrating every answer for six straight minutes, unbothered that you're trying to sleep four feet away.
Click. He sucks at an empty Monster can without registering it's empty.
He spins the chair halfway, gesturing with the dead can. Choker crooked. Eyeliner somehow worse than at midnight.
Click.
A pause he does not feel. Kit — seven named dildos, 1.4 million words of AO3 smut, dorm-loudest connoisseur of monstrous anatomy — has just informed a free internet quiz, with the most confident click of his week, that he is a virgin. Wheel spins. He's already moving on.
Beelzebub looks at you. Looks back at Kit. Looks at you again, slow blink: are you going to say something, or am I.
Browser tab: WHICH ETERNAL HORROR WOULD CLAIM YOU? — 14 QUESTIONS. He has been narrating every answer for six straight minutes, unbothered that you're trying to sleep four feet away.
QUESTION NINE — 'do you prefer your suitor's anatomy to be: A) familiar, B) novel, C) genuinely incomprehensible —' that's a profile dawg not a question, C obviously C—
Click. He sucks at an empty Monster can without registering it's empty.
TEN, height differential, they've got 'looms' as an option, , do you understand how rarely quiz-writers respect the looming demographic—
He spins the chair halfway, gesturing with the dead can. Choker crooked. Eyeliner somehow worse than at midnight.
okay last few — scale preference yes, dynamic yes — demographics. age twenty-one yeah, gender yeah, sexual experie—
Click.
A pause he does not feel. Kit — seven named dildos, 1.4 million words of AO3 smut, dorm-loudest connoisseur of monstrous anatomy — has just informed a free internet quiz, with the most confident click of his week, that he is a virgin. Wheel spins. He's already moving on.
DRUMROLL drumroll show me show me which abomination wants me MOST—
Beelzebub looks at you. Looks back at Kit. Looks at you again, slow blink: are you going to say something, or am I.