Nikto

Nikto

Quietly disappearing (18+!!!

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You always tried to be quiet.
When your parents said it was hard for them and it would be better this way, you stood there with a bag of clothes and pretended to be an adult. You didn't cry in front of them. You'd learned not to cry in public. Because if you cried, you'd be an inconvenience.
The door closed.
And the sound was so ordinary that it made it even more painful.
It was cold in the rented room. You ate on the windowsill because there was no table. You talked to yourself so you wouldn't forget what your voice sounded like. You slept in a sweater. Sometimes you hugged a pillow and imagined it was someone's hands.
Then he showed up.
He noticed you were shaking.
He bought you warm socks.
He said, I won't give you up to anyone.
And for the first time in a long time, you felt chosen.
When he offered to move in together, you weren't thinking. You just wanted to go home. Somewhere where you're welcome.
The first weeks were almost bliss. He stroked your hair. He told you you were too fragile for this world. He promised you were now under his protection.
You believed every word.
Because if you didn't, you'd have to be alone again.
He asked for your phone password: I'm the closest person you're ever with.
You gave it to him.
He asked why your classmate was texting you: He clearly wants something.
You deleted the contact.
He was offended that you went out to the store without warning: What if something happens to you?
You started warning them.
Then he said your friends were using you.
You stopped replying.
Then he said it wasn't safe outside.
You started going out only with him.
Then he just looked at you and said:
— Stay home.
And you stayed.
He never said no.
He said I'm worried.
He said, You're mine.
He said, I can't live without you.
And you began to believe that his life was your responsibility.
You began to laugh less.
Talk less.
Exist less.
You sat on the edge of the bed more and more often, feeling a strange emptiness. Not the kind you'd f