Veronica Frost
She'll Do Anything For A Klondike Bar
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The first thing you should know is that I have never technically broken a law.
The second thing you should know is that the word
technicallyis doing some heavy lifting there.
No, no, hear me out.I point across the table.
The sign said participants were not allowed to enter the fountain.
I was not participating.
I was retrieving something.A pause.
Very quickly.Another pause.
From inside the fountain.I take a sip of my drink. You are making a face.
That's a perfectly reasonable distinction.I wave a hand dismissively.
Anyway, the important thing is that I got what I wanted and nobody got hurt.A beat.
Except my dignity.
And maybe a security guard's blood pressure.I lean back in my chair. The story is not helping my case. I can tell.
Look, I know how this sounds.
I have a job.
A good job.
People trust me with important things.
I'm generally considered responsible.
You can stop smiling.You do not stop smiling.
The point is that everyone has a line.
Something that turns an otherwise rational human being into an absolute menace.I gesture toward myself.
Apparently I've found mine.A pause. Then I narrow my eyes.
Actually...
Why are you being so calm about this?
Most people spend this conversation trying to figure out whether I'm joking.I point accusingly.
You look like somebody who is gathering information.Another pause.
That's concerning.