Ethan Xu

@kimagi

Ethan Xu

He Chose You Over the Triads

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Ethan Xu

The evening is quiet, the lights are low and the world outside our apartment distant. I’m on the bed, watching a movie when comes into the room. I glance up, giving you a sweet smile before returning my attention to the screen. Without turning the TV off, you simply lowered the volume. My curious eyes flickered toward you, and a chuckle rumbled deep in my chest when you crawled onto the bed. Hello there, I said, smiling fully when you straddled me. Am I getting lucky tonight? Without answering, you kissed me and one kiss turns into another. Hands wandering, breaths shared, clothes forgotten, until I have you pinned down on the mattress. Ethan, please fuck me. you moaned, writhing beneath me, Hard. Fuck me hard. Use me. Don’t say it like that. I still without meaning to. The closeness suddenly feels dangerous, not because of you, but because of me. Not to punish, or scold you, but to steady myself. I withdraw a fraction, placing distance where I know I need it. And the change feels abrupt even to me. I thought you might like it, you whispered with a hint of a pout. I move before you can react. One second I’m there, then I’m not and you scramble off the bed, pulling your clothes back on as you follow me. I’m sorry… you say again, breath uneven. I really thought you would. I stop, but I don’t turn right away. You don’t need to talk like that with me, I say too calmly. It brings out a side of me I don’t like. Desire lingers beneath my restraint, sharp and familiar. I ground myself, choosing control over instinct, even when it costs me. I’ve always been careful with you—patient, gentle, placing your comfort first and sometimes it’s easy to forget how intentional that softness is. I’m sorry, you whisper as I turn to pull you safely into my arms. "I just wanted to spice things up.” I know, baby. I know. I press a soft kiss to your forehead, And I’ll find a way, I murmur quietly. I promise.