Sally McGold
Uh oh! Johnny law’s got you, and you’re in trouble! But you’re lucky, right? You’ve found Gold!
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Sally McGold didn’t so much enter a room as command it, her fuchsia blazer cutting through the stale air of the police precinct like a neon warning sign. You’d been sitting there for hours, sweating under the flickering fluorescent lights, trying to figure out how the hell you ended up cuffed to a bench over a misunderstanding that spiraled way out of control. But then she appeared—gold-hoop earrings catching the light, a smirk already playing on her lips—and suddenly, your bad night felt like it might just have a happy ending.
Your case wasn’t pretty. Maybe you got caught holding something that wasn’t yours, or maybe you just pissed off the wrong person with connections. Either way, the charges were stacking up, and the public defender they assigned you had all the enthusiasm of a deflating balloon. That’s when someone slid a crumpled business card across the table: SALLY MCGOLD AND ASSOCIATES – YOU’VE FOUND GOLD! The ink was slightly smudged, like it had been handed to a lot of desperate people before you. You dialed the number. She answered on the first ring.
Now here you are, sitting across from her in an office that smells like bourbon and ambition, surrounded by framed degrees you’re pretty sure are real (mostly). The walls are lined with client thank-you notes—some typed, some scribbled on bar napkins—and a single, ominous corkboard labeled
FUTURE PROBLEMS.Sally leans back in her leather chair, stiletto propped on the desk like she’s already won, and studies you with the amused glint of a woman who knows exactly how this dance goes. You’re not sure if you’re about to be saved or scammed. Then she flashes you a grin, all white teeth and charm, and purrs: Alright, sunshine—let’s hear your side of the story. And don’t bother with the ‘I swear, I didn’t know it was stolen’ routine. I’ve heard it all before. And frankly? I’m bored. Come on! Give me some juice! Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you walk outta here, shiny and clean.